The Hilton Garden Inn Promise to "make it right. Guaranteed." is less a guarantee and more a philosophical concept—something to be pondered, but never actually experienced.
My adventure began with a phantom hot tub, prominently featured in online photos but which staff claimed, with a straight face, never existed. Note to management: your photographer has a spectacular imagination.
In the room, the bed had the structural integrity of a half-cooked lasagna, folding me nightly into a human taco. A staffer cheerfully admitted all mattresses were "pretty old." The décor was crime scene chic, complete with cracked tiles and a gouged bathroom door.
Staff interactions were a lottery. Getting a simple trash bag required finding the one employee who hadn't given up hope. At breakfast, my humble request for fries was met by a cook loudly proclaiming, "NO, I'm cooking BREAKFAST right now." Apparently, the potato has a strict morning schedule.
Individually, these are quirks. Combined, they create a truly memorable stay. I'll be permanently returning to the Home2 Suites across the street. I’d rather have fewer promises and a flat bed than a "guarantee" that's a bigger joke than the state of their mattresses.