The Big Four Ooooohhh

What’s a girl to do with a looming milestone birthday? Live it up in style of course. Guest blogger Karen Lawson does just that with a holiday to remember in Phuket.

Turning forty does strange things to a woman. Friends have met this virtual timeline with grace, only to bottle it at the last minute; others are in denial, using yoga skills to curl into a ball for an unspecified hibernation period; then a proud few have pranced like Prince to “Nineteen Ninety Nine“.
My ‘date’ is approaching but I’m feeling surprisingly fine (which is mildly freaking me out). Instead of the headache of organising a party, my cunning plan is for Mr G and I to be overseas somewhere fabulous for the big 4 O. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) kicks in and rather than stay in one resort, I hedge my bets and book four!
After a short flop-over at Shangri-la in Singapore and Banyan Tree, Bintan we head over to a land that posh people forgot, Russians love and ladies love you long time…Phuket, Thailand. I can hear you crying nooooo, but trust me I did more research than Q in my quest for the holiday a woman can’t forget.
The ultimate jet setters beach hideaway – Trisara
I really wish I had a floaty Camilla Kaftan to whaft around looking as exotic as these flowers. Trisara is trendsetter territory and a copy of Hello magazine would help with celeb spotting. It’s impossible not to be wow’d by our uber luxury residence with private gardens which could scoop Floriade medals in a nano second.

Our villa puts the vroom into rooms with its total privacy aka skinny dipping options. Who needs a TV when Mr G can enjoy the view from a voyeuristic bathroom sofa which provides a much needed pit stop owing to the sheer distances of towel to toothbrush.

The attention to detail is intuitive, I am loving his ‘n’ hers sinks at each end so Mr G’s shaving habits (which can be duck-like in his ability to splash water everywhere) doesn’t interrupt my happy dry bathroom mat bubble. It’s impossible not to gawp like kids at a Nintendo party with our infinity pool stretching out into uninterrupted Andaman Sea. There are more places to lounge, stretch and preen myself than a Domayne superstore.

Dining Duo – from Deck to Trisara Seafood
The big oooh factor happens at Wine Spectator award winner ‘The Deck’. I am wondering how many Andaman prawns a person can eat before they start to develop wavy antennae’s following Pad Cha Pla (wok fried snapper) and shrimp cakes.

Like an underfed Labrador (is there such a thing?) I am salivating to try Trisara Seafood now that exec chef Kla has returned from Spain’s most famous 3 Michelin Star restaurants. Ceviche of Snapper is divine as is the Sea Bass with red quinoa. We join Anthony Lark, Trisara’s GM, for ‘one drink’ (btw no one ever joins him for one) but you have to give it to the man who has his finger on the pulse of every aspect and is a spectacular drinking partner to boot!

Designer Hangout – Ra Ka Ta & The Boathouse Bar & Grill
We head south to Kata for a spot of beach clubbing (of the stripy blue cushion variety) at the latest hot spot Ra Ka Ta. The designers of “I’m too sexy for my shirt” Ku De Ta in Bali have done a kick-arse job with curved stone lines, daybeds and designer pools.

By night it glows with more fluro per square metre than Sportsgirl. We cocktail crawl it over to Phuket’s fine dining institution, The Boathouse. It’s not as I remember it. A makeover has created a sensational naval theatre for cuisine. Whilst it’s famous for French, we go native as a degustation of Thai delights rains down (and the heavens open!). With the grand piano playing in the background it’s like a scene from the Titanic, we sip Rosé Duval Leroy as I ogle the rock lobster soufflé on our neighbours’ table and wish we went European!

The Big Day 40 – Ker pow, Zzzzz & chomp at Ananatara Phuket
We awake on my birthday morning with an action packed agenda planned by Anantara Phuket for my day of fun. Mr G and I are re-enacting Kung Fu Panda (well I am) with their champion kick boxer instructor. If you could create a legend of awesomeness it would have my legs and Mr G’s arms.

We reward our killer moves with an over water lagoon pampering session lapping up a sublime couples massage, as well as a much needed facial as I have half of Mai Khao beach embossed onto my face.
As evening falls, we head to Sea.Fire.Salt at the resort. Ton, our ‘salt sommelier’, helps us choose from the trolley. This is no mean feat, considering the seventeen on offer including Tom Yum, Smoked Sea with Elderwood and Truffle salt. The degustation kicks off with a Himalayan Rock Salt bowl of seafood overflowing with waving tentacles and claws, followed by Hot Rock (minus Mick Jagger swaying his hips) heated to 200 degrees.

We wolf down seasoned sea bass, rock lobster and scallops. Just when we can’t eat another crustacean, the waiters arrive with champagne, gourmet chocolate cake and burst into a hilarious unmusical rendition of Happy Birthday. Ton remarks “Ok, we go home now and practice!!”.

Back at Trisara (cake box in hand) more chocolate cake greets us at the villa! The chefs have cooked a marvellous birthday cake thoughtfully including candles, matches and canapés. Feeling like the Vicar of Dibley on a Christmas Special, I have an epiphany that hamsters are onto something…cheek pouches are the ultimate accessory for birthday girls.

Fancy a tipple or two? – The Sarojin
We travel nearly two hours north to The Sarojin Resort. Feeling like a toddler who has just had all her toys taken away, our villa is about quarter of the size of our previous days. We swap the Andaman sea views for Bird of Paradise flowers and a paddling pool, (well that’s a bit cruel) it’s a few laps to the end.

The villa is beautifully fitted out; king-size bed, designer room mist, candles and freshly baked goodies (way to my heart – my stomach!) merging into a pebble floor bathroom then a mini-scream emits from my mouth “Oh my GOD”. I discover the toilet has no back wall. Mr G’s mischievousness goes into overdrive, knowing my sensibilities about such things! Despite the loo situ, it’s great value so we can afford to splurge on activities but the weather gods have other plans; trips to the Perhentian Islands are put on hold, as are any diving options thanks to a full moon reducing visibility to noodle soup.

Like a true Brit what do you do when it rains? You drink! We while away the afternoon at The Cellar enjoying few ‘purple stained reds’ from Wine Spectators ‘Best Wine List in Thailand’.

Breakfast under the protection of an enormous Fica tree delivers a never ending array of sparkling wine, a la carte options and baskets of freshly baked goodies brought to my table. It’s a shame we have to leave; this place is growing on me immensely.
Dramatic views to Woo.. Cool and Contemporary – Paresa Resort, Kamala
It’s boutique and it’s beautiful. Our villa at Paresa Resort Phuket is a contemporary floating glass capsule attached to a side of a cliff on a spot of Kamala known as ‘Millionaires Row’: heaven and earth blurred by our infinity pool views with a bathroom so stunning I want to move our bed!

In the swirling seas below, we can just make out the dark shadow of turtle flapping around. Banyan trees grow through the resort creating a dining canopy at the onsite Talung Thai Restaurant, networked by hundreds of vertical stairways. We are smitten with the dramatic location and the food following an evening with NZ chef Ryan Arboleda in a private dining experience – Recipe by Ryan.

We while away the next day at Paresa’s very own beach club in Kamala where decadent loungers, fluffy towels and drinks are an eyelid bat away.

Patong, ‘Love you long time’ and Baan Rimpa Fine Dining
To save me from impending ‘Queen of Sheba’ Syndrome, we hit Patong for a spot of reality and retail therapy. Two pairs of flip flops, a shirt for Mr G, a bunch of DVDs thanks to a ‘secret door’ and a few bargains in the pharmacy is a great haul!
Following a prolonged negotiation with taxi mafia, we enter legendary Baan Rimpa Piano Bar and Restaurant which has won more awards than Meryl Streep. It’s like stepping back in time with polished teak floors, a grand piano and a humungous Royal Thai menu which makes me wish I had spent more time doing bicep curls.

Service is smooth as Thai silk and taste buds are surprised by delights such as Phuket style dip with dried shrimp, herbed salad of wing bean. It’s impossible not to be impressed with the perseverance and skill of hand spun yellow noodles wrapped hundreds of times to create perfect capsules of prawns and a whole fish topped with Chili Paste.

Castaway Island Paradise – Six Senses Yao Noi, Koh Yao Noi, Phang Nga Bay
Mr G is doing a mighty fine impression of Robbie Williams in the Millennium video (minus the black tie of course) as we bounce across the Andaman Sea in our private speedboat, enroute to Yao Noi island east off the Phuket coastline.

We are staring at our home for the next 48 hours; bricks and marble is replaced with bamboo, rope and wood. I’m betting Mr Crusoe would trade a month’s worth of octopi for this three story eco-luxe treehouse! Nestled in the forest we have peak-a-boo views of the ocean and front row seats to more wildlife than the Discovery Channel.

With Kung Fu Panda moves at the ready, there’s no cause to ‘woshi finger hold’ the odd envious house-hunting monitor lizard from our residence. Despite concerns of island fever there’s no opportunity to be bored as we tackle activities from nature walks, organic garden tours, yoga at sunrise and long boat trips where we feed fish from our hands. The Hilltop Reserve is a popular adult’s playground. By day we chill out in the main pool watching the world unfold below with the lime stone cliffs as our witness, by night it’s the ultimate candlelit dining destination.