Shop ‘til you flop

A trip to Singa –bore wasn’t on my wish list having visited ten years ago. I felt like an extra in The Truman Show with surreal mythical creatures such as the Merlion making me question if I had had one Leo beer too many on Clarke Quay. By the way, the answer to that is probably ‘yes’.
Yet here I am again. My wardrobe is sulking due to lack of attention so it’s time for a ‘Shop n Flop-over’. Mr G and I book bed hopping at the Shangri-La and a secret island escape to Bintan (which I can confirm is not a new Arnotts chocolate biscuit).
The Royal Treatment
Call me shallow but there is nothing like being picked up in a swanky car in front of people with their shiny luggage and manicured talons. People part (like Moses) as our chauffer driven SLK arrives, delivering seat moves Hue Hefner couldn’t dream of as we turn up the private driveway. The Shangri-La Valley wing is a special land filled with presidents, heads of states and dignitaries and…um, us! You just need cashola and grown up stuff like sensible shoes. Mr G drags me away from my discovery of all day French champagne and rotating canapés and into our twebbily posh room with all its silks and cream grandeur. I am not much of a chandelier girl but crystal cleptomaniacs will be in heaven with all that bling.

Dim Sum Pit Stop – Shangri-La Shang Palace
The only time a female can be proud of hairy legs is when she is a crab. Hairy crab mania has hit the city and the pesky critters take forever to prepare and eat, unlike the fantastic Spicy Prawn tumbled with almonds, turmeric and curry leaves followed by a Golden ‘Mantoe’ (like an unsugared churros). Whilst it sounds like the perfect dish for someone with a male foot fetish, it’s rather yummy!

Hot to Shop
Question: How many Prada & Gucci stores can you fit into 2.2 kilometres of malls? I dunno, but it’s a lot! Orchard Road has more designer stores than baubles on a Christmas tree. But where to start? Like a buffet, you just have to dive in head first. We hit spaceship-like ION, perfect for fashion vampires with its underground labyrinths including Marks n Spencer and local darlings Charles n Keith for shoes.

Orchard Road

We move to Mandarin Gallery and 313 Somerset. Bugis Street is haggle heaven as we weave through the cobbles and bagging bargain such as a trusty umbrella! Just round the corner is Kampong Glam, a cute gentrified street bursting with colour and accessories. I’m sorely tempted to purchase a kebaya dress so I can impersonate a Singapore Airlines stewardess in order to score an upgrade, but with the Sultan Mosque dominating the skyline, angelic principles prevail.
Shop, Bop and Hot Tub – Marina Bay Sands, Ku De Ta & Balcony Garden Suite Shangri – La
It’s easy as ABC; Armani, Burberry, Chanel. How hard can Shoppes at Marina Bay Sands be? It’s tough with gondola rides (distracting), or ice-skating (less distracting) on offer but the wide airy pathways make it a delight.

It’s sunset hour and cocktails are calling. KDT boys certainly know how to put on a show, infinity pool, daybeds for posing and the city at your feet 200m below. I am thankful that my insanely spangly gold skirt purchase is of the clingon variety, a momentary lapse of concentration and my bum cheeks could go viral!

View from the top!

Degustation highlights of hamachi sashimi and ponzu paired with Louis Roederer along with peppered crispy sticky baby squid is a multi sensory experience. It’s difficult to know if it’s the bubbles, the food, service or the altitude giving me a high. Dinner to dancin’ is smooth as sacher cake as we hit the floor.

We swap chandeliers for palm trees with a night in the Garden Wing. Our enormous Balcony Suite-cum-penthouse includes our very own roof garden – it’s insane! We suddenly feel on top of the world splashing around in our hot tub under the stars. BBQ party anyone?
Jurasic Park meets Paradise – Banyan Tree Bintan Island, Indonesia
Within 45 minutes we are in a land which time forgot, forests grow, humans are few and dinosaurs roam (ok, ok so they are BIG lizards). Our Emerald Class tickets make the ferry journey a first class delight of lounge to recliner as we zip past all the immigration queues thanks to our new best friend from Banyan Tree. We haven’t even reached the resort and we’re loving the rock star treatment.
Flop-over – The Villa
Anyone who tells you that the three best words are “I love you” is wrong: they are “You’ve been upgraded”. I turn into a performing seal, clapping uncontrollably; jumping with the odd happy ‘whoop’ as Frederick (our butler) introduces us to our two bed pool villa. Sitting like toddlers on our enormous sala, feet are bathed and a complimentary bottle of cab sav helps us soak up the view from our infinity pool showcasing island shoreline.
 

‘Villa Virus’ soon hits – piled up like a couple of walruses we’re unable to move other than rotation from bed, pool and sala. Sensual bed linens, bathrooms straight out of Vogue Living and a cracker housekeeping team take towel origami to new heights with his ‘n’ hers elephant creations to delight us!

Life’s a beach – Fun in the sun (and out of it)
Donning hard hats and body armour I now resemble a Transformer mounting my ATV (All Terrain Vehicle).Within moments we are zooming across perfect white sands and bumping along jungle tracks. Nature spotting and staying alive are mutually exclusive activities however a couple of agile monkeys make our day.

If telepathic abilities were a job requirement, Fredrik scores an A+. Even though he’s given us a mobile phone to reach him, our golf buggy chariot awaits to whisk us to the spa! There’s no reception ordeal as we step into our very own duplex spa villa, its personalization and privacy all the way baby! Soothing hands magic our shopping stresses away. An hour later we dozily munch on fresh fruit watching a dramatic storm roll in.

Dining decisions are taxing; do you opt for in villa BBQ, signature Royal Thai food at Saffron (crispy garlic squid with pepper-squid ink sauce is amazing, so to is the braised chicken green curry popping with apple eggplants) or be entertained by a mariachi band at Treetops (OMG those amuse bouche canapés!). We choose Dinner on the Rocks, a secluded setting reached by a winding oversea pathway – its tres romantic (if you don’t have a force nine gale and rain pelting down).

Degustation is divine commencing with rock lobster and king prawn salad with Avruga caviar. The heavens are kind to us and we finally get to enjoy a crepes doused with orange, berry compote and white chocolate ice-cream to the sounds of crashing waves.

So ‘Shop n Flop’ mission successfully achieved! Shopping done, bed hopping gracefully achieved and we recharged our batteries to new Duracell levels on Bintan.