How to survive Xmas with your family
Spending time with your family over the holidays has pros and cons. On the upside, you spend time with your family. The downside? You spend time with your family…
Okay, we’re just teasing. We’re sure Xmas with your family is a blast. But here are eight family Christmas survival hacks, just in case 😉
Survival tip #1: Less thinking, more drinking
There are no better reasons to day-drink than a) Christmas and b) family gatherings. Keep it classy with a champagne breakfast and then just keep going through food prep and into lunch. Take it easy on the refills of Nanna’s glass or she might snooze her way through the seafood spread.
Survival tip #2: Fake a work emergency
Plan ahead for some time out during the eternity between arriving and any food being served. Warn your family that you might get a work call. When your phone rings (actually an alarm you set earlier), try to look annoyed. Congrats – you can now slip off to an empty room for a solid 20-minute break from family chatter. And you’re the favourite child for being so hardworking (when really you’re just mastering your power nap. Ready for round two of Christmas eating!).
Survival tip #3: Break away
Sure, your family has that unspoken rule that everyone sleeps over. Even if it means sharing a bunk bed with three of your cousins. But this is the year to go full adult by booking a luxe (or at least private) hotel room nearby. Your own space. Your own bathroom. Bliss! Just don’t tell your tighta** uncle how much you paid. Even if you get an amazing deal (like, oh, on lastminute.com.au 😜), you’ll never hear the end of it.
Survival tip #4: A neutral location
Okay, Switzerland might be out of the question. But if there are warring factions within your extended family, having your Christmas meal at a restaurant instead of someone’s house means no-one has the home-field advantage and will (hopefully) force everyone to stay on their best behaviour. Book one with a non-refundable deposit and force both sides to chip in. That’ll guarantee they show.
Survival tip #5: Live to give
Sick of mad last-minute shopping for gifts you’re not even sure people want? Skip it and make a donation to a charity in your family’s name instead. It’s easy, meaningful and much more useful than a personalised knick knack (although we’ll have one of those personalised Toblerones if you’re offering).
Survival tip #6: Steal a day away
Wave goodbye to your family when you leave to go ‘home’, then duck into the nearest resort for some blissed-out spa action. But be warned: This tip requires stealth and the ability to maintain a complex web of lies. Tell no-one. And definitely don’t post any social pics. Even if you’re certain your fam doesn’t check your Instagram, they do.
Survival tip #7: BYOF
Bringing a friend to family Christmas is a master stroke. The oldies will jump on the fresh meat and your mate will be the one quizzed about their love life, job and haircut. Which would suck for your friend, except that in exchange they get an up-close look at where all of your craziness comes from. But a heads-up – your family will assume that your ‘friend’ is really your girlfriend/boyfriend. When Nanna wakes up, she’ll almost certainly drop some unsubtle hints about weddings.
Survival tip #8: Give in and enjoy the chaos
Feed lollies to every kid you see. Crack open the good wine your mum wanted to save. And kick off some karaoke with Aunty Sharon. If you can’t beat em…