{"id":44138,"date":"2018-04-22T00:00:13","date_gmt":"2018-04-21T14:00:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lastminute.com.au\/vc\/blog\/?p=44138"},"modified":"2018-04-10T17:08:06","modified_gmt":"2018-04-10T07:08:06","slug":"surviving-flight-with-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lastminute.com.au\/vc\/blog\/surviving-flight-with-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"How to survive a flight sitting next to (someone else\u2019s) kids"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don\u2019t get me wrong, I like kids. Kids are great. They say inappropriate things at inopportune moments. For them there\u2019s nothing funnier than a fart joke and I respect that. But sitting next to an overexcited cherub on a plane is not my idea of a relaxing flight and certainly doesn\u2019t get me into the holiday spirit. That being said, after having my boob groped by a six-year-old on a recent trip, I feel like I\u2019ve become an unlikely authority on how to survive a flight sitting next to someone else\u2019s child because, in the end, neither of us got hurt and we all lived to tell the tale. You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n

Public enemy No.1.<\/p><\/div>\n

1. Don\u2019t make eye contact<\/h3>\n

Kids can sniff out a pushover from a mile away. As soon as you let your guard down and poke your tongue out at them, pull a face, or pick their damn Tickle Me Elmo toy off the floor for the umpteenth time, they\u2019ll know they have you wrapped around their grubby little finger. Look out the window, twiddle your thumbs, do what you have to do, but for god\u2019s sake don\u2019t, in any circumstances, make eye contact with the little one, unless you\u2019re happy to play \u201cI Spy\u201d for the next three hours.<\/p>\n

2. Pretend you\u2019re asleep or, even better, dead<\/h3>\n

The easiest way to avoid any interaction at all with someone else\u2019s kid is to pretend to be asleep. This likely won\u2019t stop them from prodding you, groping you, dropping food on you, throwing their colouring book at your head, or asking if you\u2019d like to play with Mr Dinosaur, but if you make it look convincing, then at least the child\u2019s parents will try to keep them quiet because \u201cthe lady is trying to sleep!\u201d<\/p>\n

Just close your eyes and dream of your gloriously child-free destination. It\u2019ll all be over soon.<\/p><\/div>\n

3. Don\u2019t pick up anything colourful, shiny, flashy, or fun<\/h3>\n

Unless you want sticky fingers all over your in-flight magazine, don\u2019t take it out of the seat pocket in front of you. Children, and indeed adults, can\u2019t resist a colourful shiny magazine, or phone, or anything else for that matter. So, put every fun item in your possession away unless you want it grabbed, snatched, or squealed about. If all else fails, repeat Step 2.<\/p>\n

Think of the holiday cocktails. Think of the holiday cocktails…<\/p><\/div>\n

There are, however, a few things you\u2019ll want to keep close to hand. Must-pack kid-proof items for a flight\u00a0are:<\/p>\n