50 Shades of Turquoise

Warning! Reader discretion is advised. If you’re prone to bouts of holiday envy, then cease reading immediately because this one’s a doozie!
French Polynesia has been described as heaven on Earth; a playground for the rich and famous. I am neither rich nor famous – I’m just a lucky gal that got to honeymoon in perfection.
French Polynesia is a cluster of islands. Tahiti is the main one and it’s surrounded by a number of gorgeous society islands each with its own character. Tahaa is the vanilla beach island, Huahine with its sacred eels and of course, Bora Bora, the seventh heaven of islands.
Our journey began in Moorea, then Bora Bora and then finally Papeete. Come with me as I relive the magic. Together, let’s swap bottled water for fresh coconut water. Eucalyptus trees for palm tree salads. Shuttle busses for shuttle boats, and trade the humble fish and chips for Mahi Mahi in a coconut.
Moorea
Moorea is Bora Bora’s quiet and understated sister. Yet she is just as beautiful (well, close). There’s a fair bit of sibling rivalry going on here, but if Bora Bora wins on natural beauty, Moorea beats it on personality.
Mr LML and I found Moorea a bit less commercialised and a tad friendlier. On a number of occasions we left our resort to meet locals, stroll through unpaved streets lined with lush greenery and dashed into boutique shops selling coconut shells and beautifully scented monoi (traditional Tiare flower oil).

When we arrived at the luxe Moorea Pearl Resort & Spa, we were greeted with fresh pineapple juice and a tiare leu – hello paradise! Let’s not forget that the staff on these islands are accustomed to accommodating the likes of Bill Gates, Miranda Kerr and other insanely rich people that demand the very best hospitality. And truly it is apparent from the get go.

Our garden pool bungalow was exquisite. From the tiki style furnishings to our very own private pool. Taking a dip at 2am wasn’t so absurd in the island’s gorgeous warmth.

My standout experience in Moorea would have to be the traditional Polynesian show and dinner. The food was unique and delicious. The only downfall was my stomach’s limited capacity. What was on the menu you ask? Well, heart of palm tree salad; papaya and prawn salad; tuna ceviche in coconut; Mahi Mahi wrapped in banana leaf; BBQ swordfish with pineapple sauce; an assortment of smoked fish and much more.
For those with a sweet tooth, how about these tastebud teasers? Creamy lime mousse; baked papaya with a custard cream; coconut and kiwi tart; and pumpkin parfait.

With our bellies full, we watched the traditional Polynesian dancers burn off the calories they probably never ate. Hypnotised by swaying hulas – a few brave souls got up and gave it a shot. The rest of us looked on and admired the dancers with our dignity intact.

On our third day in Moorea, we witnessed a wedding that took place right on the beach. Forget walking down the aisle, this bride had a Polynesian chief row her tiare decorated canoe to the turquoise shore.

Bora Bora
We thought we had reached the epitome of luxury in Moorea – but at that point we didn’t know what wonders were awaiting us in Bora Bora.
From the plane we could see a patchwork of different degrees of turquoise surrounding small green islands.

When we landed, we couldn’t believe the clarity and the colour of the water. We could see right through to the colourful fish and sea urchins sitting pretty on the water bed.

We boarded a shuttle boat to be transported to our home for the next four glorious days and escorted to our overwater bungalow. Every inch of the oversized bungalow was heavenly.
Underneath our coffee table was a glass panel to watch and feed the tropical fish (and rays) in the water below us. We had a large patio from which we could jump directly into the surrounding water. Also, next to our bed was a large glass wall so by day we could admire our aquatic backyard and by night gaze at the stars as we drifted off to sleep.

Although leaving the bungalow might not be on your agenda, there are so many activities to do in Bora Bora. Each more enticing (and pricey than the next).

We opted for the shark feeding cruise (as you do). I agreed to this assuming it meant we watch professionals feed the sharks from the safety of our sturdy boat. Turns out, we were to jump in the water with sting rays and lemon sharks! Oh well, when in Polynesia, do as the Polynesians do.
After I was done screaming, what I experienced was incredible. The marine life were friendly and happy – it was almost as if they too knew they were in paradise. After the rays and sharks were satisfied with their meal, the guide took us to a nearby coral reef for some snorkelling. At the risk of sounding juvenile, I actually felt like the little mermaid. Surrounded by orange, purples, pinks and blues – the experience was surreal.

The guide then took us to the shore (his uncle’s place) and prepared a lunch of fresh tropical fruit and fresh coconut water to quench our thirst. I was touched by their simple lives. They take pride in their island, fish only for what they need and enjoy what is real.

Next up, Mr LML and I grabbed a complimentary kayak at the resort and some complimentary coconut and slowly rowed away from the shore. Funny thing was, no matter how far we got, we were always only waist deep in the warm water.
We finished this incredible day off with another unforgettable dinner. How about lobster with a lime and vanilla sauce?

All good things come to an end. We were sad to leave Bora Bora, but lucky for us our French Polynesian adventure wasn’t quite over yet.

Tahiti – Papeete
Papeete is Tahiti’s big smoke. It’s good for shopping and experiencing a bit of culture outside the world of magical islands. Dinner wasn’t included in our hotel package here so it was a great opportunity for us to experience life outside the resort.
A short le truck ride (aka bus ride) got us downtown to Papeete’s waterfront strip. It’s a walking city and can easily be covered by foot. The central markets were good for picking up souvenirs – and much cheaper than the other exuberant islands. Also if you intend to buy a famous black pearl, do so in Papeete. Be sure to have your bargaining hat on!
There are loads of eateries: American style cafes, Chinese restaurants and cute French bistros. A bit pricey, but we stumbled across the Roulottes which are 20 plus food trucks that set up in the big square on the waterfront park every evening. These pop up eateries are in front of a large stage that show off the local youth’s musical talents. This is a great way to get a cheap feed with a show.
I opted for poisson cru (Tahitian raw fish in coconut milk). I was a bit wary about eating raw fish served from a truck, but boy was it fresh. We then indulged our sweet cravings with a couple chocolate crepes as two French lads belted out some incredible tunes on their guitars.
We loved the atmosphere here – cheap and cheerful, which was a nice change after the indulgence of Moorea and Bora Bora!
Overall, our experience in French Polynesia was magical (for want of a better word). Although we’ve ruined ourselves for other tropical getaways for life!
I don’t need to convince the ladies here, so for any bean counting grooms to be – yes, it is expensive but your better half will adore you for this once in a lifetime experience. It is the closest we’ll get to heaven while we’re alive.
Top 10 tips
1. Save Bora Bora as the last island you visit. You’ll take the beauty of the other islands for granted if you see the king of islands first.
2. A pre-packaged holiday is the way to go. A glass of water is expensive in all the islands, so if you have brekkie and dinner already sorted, you’ll have some peace of mind.
3. If you’re islands hopping and can afford it, save the overwater bungalow experience for Bora Bora. We were glad we didn’t opt for the overwater bungalow in the other islands after seeing them in Bora Bora.
4. No need to go for accommodation that boasts amazing water views in Papeete. This is a city, not a tropical hideaway.
5. The exchange rates are better in Papeete. Most activities in Moorea and Bora Bora can be organised through the resorts and can be charged back to your room. But if you need Pacific French Francs on you, then do so in Papeete on your stopover at the start of your trip.
6. Save the souvenir shopping for Papeete (you’re likely to stopover there at the start and end of your trip anyway).
7. Buy a Tahitian black pearl (or two). Just make sure you have your bargaining game face on and check the certificate of authenticity. You don’t want to end up with a black glass ball.
8. Buy Monoi and bring a few extra bottles home. It’s authentic and cheap as chips in the Papeete markets.
9. Experience a Polynesian dinner show. If your hotel doesn’t offer one, then have dinner at a different hotel that does one night.
10. If you’re not opting for a package, then be mindful that there are minimal connecting flights, so be sure to book your flights before the accommodation.