10 Gifts for Guys this Christmas; another letter to Santa

I never threw that ham and salad sandwich into the ceiling fan at work, spraying my lunch all over everyone; I was just so pumped at the thought that Christmas was right around the corner that I flung my hands in the air and accidentally propelled my sandwich skyward! Not all of us can defy gravity on that sled big guy…

So what’s the reason for my letter? Well the lumps of coal that the boys and I receive in our stockings each year is starting to lose its “wow” factor and I was wondering if you’d be interested in shaking things up a little bit? I know we may have rattled a few cages this year and renewed our annual subscription to the naughty list, so with this in mind, we’ve come up with 10 great gift ideas that will help us ditch the naughty tag and become sweeter than Grandma’s sticky date pudding in time for Christmas.

1. A surfing experience

Some of us naughty kids just need a good role model, so why not follow in the steps of now three-time World Surfing Champion Mick Fanning?

2. King Size Mexican Hammock

If the secret to turning us into little angels isn’t necessarily having us out in the blue room taming the ocean, maybe we just need to relax a little and take a long, hard look at ourselves. What better way to do this than in a King Size Mexican Hammock?

3. Bag full of beer

So this sounds bad… I know. But when you think about it, beer is often a great social lubricant and our social skills could clearly use a grease and oil change!

4. 50 places to play golf before you die, the book

There’s nothing like a little bit of light reading to keep the boys at home and not out and about causing trouble. But if you want to do it right, you’ll need to give us something to read that we’re actually interested in! Leave 50 Shades of Grey for the gals, we’d much rather find out where our next 50 golf vacations are going to be!

5. A case of fine red

Perhaps we just need a touch of class? In putting those days of drinking Passion Pop from the bottle behind us, the allure of a Penfolds’ cellar favourite will be a step in the right direction. We’ll be wearing cravats and taking an interest in musical theatre before you know it!

6. One Hour drive in a Ferrari

So I know what you’re thinking- “there’s NO WAY I’m letting those animals behind the wheel of a Ferrari!” But Saaannntaaaa… there’s much more awesome ways to let out our inner troublemaker than duct-taping our mates to the ceiling and this is right at the top of that list!

7. Warner Brothers Super Pass

It’s the age-old weary parent remedy; send the kids to a theme park to keep them out of trouble! So instead of sitting us in the corner, let us loose in a nice controlled environment – think of what happy little vegemites we’ll be! Not to mention how sleepy we’ll be after a day running around from the Batwing Spaceshot to Mammoth Falls to the Sea Viper. We’ll be busting out Zs in our King Size Mexican Hammock in no time!

8. BBQ Tool Set

Getting from the naughty to the nice list not only requires us staying out of trouble, but also giving a little back. So why not have us boys do what we do best and fire up the barbie!? Our friends and family have put up with a lot having us brats around, so there’s nothing like a juicy steak to say thanks and “well done”.

9. Ibis Styles Canberra Eaglehawk – Summernats 3 night special

If boys are going to be boys, why not send us to the heartland of manliness… when the street-machines hit Canberra for Summernats! For $199/night, staying for a minimum of 3 nights, we can enjoy breakfast each morning and 4-star accommodation at ibis Styles Canberra Eaglehawk, only a stone’s throw from the action at Exhibition Park!

10. Shout the boys and I a weekend in Melbourne

The ladies love the charming, educated, funny and cultured nice guy, so to attract the right girl who can help put us wayward menaces in the right direction, maybe a boys’ trip to the cultural capital of Australia, Melbourne is a good idea? We won’t take this opportunity to go to the MCG… or visit Crown Casino, we promise!

So there you have it Santa, I believe that any (or all!) of these gifts will provide sufficient rehabilitation for turning us sinners into saints, so your assistance in ensuring that we’re adequately equipped for our New Year’s resolution is appreciated!

Also, feel free to enjoy the cookies 🙂 I promise this year they aren’t filled with any rude surprises and sorry about any repeated bathroom breaks I may have caused in the past…

Consider this my first order of business in turning over a new leaf!

– LML(egend) Alex